Pentru ca nu am treaba, stau ca pe ghimpi. Respir adanc acum si citesc din Principia Amoris, super carte!
As you can see, the effects of physiological flooding are huge. The effects occur because, when flooded, people don’t have as much access to their ability to process information and to listen, nor do they have as much access to their sense of humor or to creative problem-solving. And, in diffuse physiological arousal, everything seems like an attack, so defensiveness is a natural response. That’s part of why being flooded during conflict discussions is so harmful to the long-term health of a relationship.
Have them go to separate spaces. During the break it is very important that each person is distracted from the ruminating on the previous interaction. Instruct them to not ruminate on what just happened, to avoid thinking about what they are going to say when they get back together. They must not think about getting even, or nurse a grudge. Each person can go for a walk, or listen to soothing music (no heavy metal), or take a bath, or meditate. They can use the instructions for self-soothing in Appendix 8. Have them take their heart rates before getting back together. Their heart rates should be close to your baseline, which is around 70 to 80 beats a minute, or much lower if they are athletes.